


It's Guy Love (That's All It Is)

by hardtoconcentrate



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Hale Fire, Crack, Derek is a Failwolf, Established Relationship, Everybody Lives, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Pack Family, just straight up crack tbh, sometimes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-19
Updated: 2015-01-19
Packaged: 2018-03-08 06:44:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3199379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hardtoconcentrate/pseuds/hardtoconcentrate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“… When did your creepy uncle and Allison’s crazy-ass ex-hunter dad start hanging out?” Stiles asked Derek with wide eyes at the pair in question, currently scrolling through pictures on Peter’s phone on the couch.</p>
<p>Everyone gets a little too much of Chris and Peter for their own good, or 5 times the pack noticed romance in the air + 1 time they heard/saw it for themselves and it sucked.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Guy Love (That's All It Is)

**Author's Note:**

> This was a belated Christmas gift for Helen, the ultimate Teen Wolf babe. Fully crack, I regret nothing. Completely unbeta-ed and written in about two hours. Let me know what you guys think! Title shamelessly taken from the My Musical episode of Scrubs. :D

_**1\. Stiles and Derek** _

 

“… When did your creepy uncle and Allison’s crazy-ass ex-hunter dad start hanging out?” Stiles asked Derek with wide eyes at the pair in question, currently scrolling through pictures on Peter’s phone on the couch.

Derek rolled his eyes and grimaced, leaning into the kitchen counter on his elbows with a signature broody look perfected over the years.

Stiles made a face. “I know I’ve gotten good at failwolf-speak, but not that good. Some of us actually use words to communicate, Derek.”

Derek growled under his breath, but shrugged. “When those rogue hunters got Malia, Chris was apparently the only reason Peter didn’t lose it. Again. You know. Talking about the danger of having kids and all that...” Derek gestured over broadly towards the couch where the odd pair were seated. “Now, they’re… Whatever the hell that is.”

Stiles grabbed his hand under the counter and whispered, “It’s looooooooove!” before collapsing in laughter into Derek's chest. Untroubled, Derek just brought their joined hands up to rest on the granite and watched the slightly disturbing romance unfold in front of them.

 

* * *

 

_**2\. Isaac** _

       

       “Look at them, dude,” Isaac mumbled from under a mountain of freshly washed scarves on Cora’s bed. Out of the entire pack, Cora’s room ended up having the best view of the lake behind the house, where Chris and Peter could be seen swimming across with broad strokes.

       “Why can’t I have that,” he moaned, curling up into a ball and looking up at Cora with irresistible puppy dog eyes. “They’re so happy. Peter’s a psychopath and Chris is an asshole and they’re so happy. Why is this so hard for me?”

Cora threw another scarf at his head, muttering, “Because you’re in love with that hunter’s future son-in-law, you weirdo.”

“What do I _doooo_ ,” Isaac whined, clutching at the scarf Cora hit him with. “It hurts.”

“Grow a pair and get the fuck out of my room,” she retorted, but sat down next to him and patted him reassuringly on the shoulder. “Just go talk to Scott and Allison. You never know. How has he not noticed, though?”

“You know how Scott is. He wouldn’t notice anything but Allison if it hit him in the face,” he replied miserably.

 

 

* * *

  

_**3\. Scott** _

 

“Allison,” Scott started slowly, watching Peter and Chris train in the backyard. Their movements were nimble and seemingly effortless, but the two were barely getting a scratch on each other. He had never seen either of them hold back in training before.  
“What?” Looking up from her bow, Allison followed Scott’s wary gaze up to where the two men were starting to pick up speed in their attacks on each other.

“What’s going on between Peter and your dad?” He asked, in a tone of voice as if he’d seen a miracle.

“I don’t really know, to be honest with you. Dad makes him… Happy, I guess. It’s weird,” Allison replied with a shrug, and went back to cleaning her bow. From the corner of her eye, she saw her dad fall to the ground from one brutal swipe of Peter’s claw. Jerking upright, she made a motion towards the backyard, but what she saw through the screen door stopped her in her tracks. Peter’s face went from intent to horrified in a split second, and he nearly fell head over heels in his haste to reach Chris. Seemingly fine, Chris reached up and rested his hand on Peter’s shoulder in what looked like calm reassurance.   
“And you’re okay with this?!” Scott asked helplessly while staring at the two from inside the garage, breaking Allison out of her reverie. She looked towards the door, gesturing towards Chris and Peter through the glass.

“I’m okay with anyone that makes my dad look like that again,” she replied quietly, watching Chris smile and shake his head at a helpless looking Peter.

 

 

* * *

 

**_4\. Boyd and Erica_ **

 

“Baby, look,” Erica whispered with a huge grin, nudging Boyd towards Chris and Peter alone together in the corner of the dining room murmuring to each other while Talia talked at their weekly pack meeting. “That’s as obvious as it gets. It’s a thing. I win. Pay up.” Boyd stared at the two for a long minute, then slipped Erica a twenty under the table.

“Damn it.”

 

* * *

 

_**5\. Talia** _

“Peter, can I talk to you for a moment?”

“Is it about my relationship, or lack thereof, with Christopher?”

“Well, yes, but Peter-”

“Then no. Have to run, sweet sister. Talk later.”

Talia watched from the doorway as her brother ran off towards the car and sped off before shaking her head and turning towards the living room, where her son seemed to be sneaking out with Stiles, one hand far, far too low on his back to be friendly. She’d deal with that development later though; she had a much more pressing matter to attend to regarding her brother at the moment.

 

* * *

__

_**+1 : Everyone hears something they shouldn’t have (and Stiles is traumatized).** _

 

“What’s that noise?” Derek asks out of the blue one night, looking towards the second floor of the house from the living room couch.

“Is the big bad wolf afraid of a burglar?” Stiles teases, jabbing him in the side with his elbow. Derek grumbles and shifts slightly from underneath Stiles, turning back to keep watching the show. Something about a guy with an alarmingly low voice and the blue-eyed angel who’s blatantly in love with him. Derek doesn’t know why Stiles watches these things, but gets comfortable and tries to do it for him anyway.

Five minutes later, Derek shoots upright and goes beet red, barely illuminated by the light of the television and almost knocking Stiles off and onto the floor.

“Derek, what the hell?” Stiles demands, staring at him.

_thunk_ , goes a noise upstairs, audible to even Stiles’ human ears.

“O… kay? Maybe one of us should go upstairs and see what happened?” Stiles asks tentatively.

“No, wait-” chokes out Derek, but Stiles is already off him and heading up the staircase.

“It’s coming from Peter’s room,” he calls down the staircase, and he can hear Derek yelling at him, “ _Yeah, I know, don’t-_ ”, but of course, he’s already opening the door. No amount of subtext could have prepared him for the sight that awaits him when it swings open.

 

“Close the fucking door,” Chris hisses, eyes glaring at Stiles from his precarious position above Peter’s naked (naked!) body.

“Or don’t, really. I don’t mind either way,” Peter adds mildly, withdrawing his hand from Chris’ unbuttoned jeans. Stiles yells loudly and slams the door shut, staring wide-eyed at Derek, who’s just come up the stairs cringing.

“You knew,” Stiles accused, slapping Derek’s arm lightly.

“I tried to tell you,” he groused. “That’s what you get for not listening to me.”

Scott, Boyd, Erica, and Talia all come out of their rooms, bleary-eyed and with a deeply disturbed look on their faces.

“We’ve already been kept up by those two tonight,” Talia said, flinching slightly as a loud moan resounds from inside the room. “Don’t make the problem any worse.”

“ _He’s just jealous because he can’t make my dear nephew make the noises Chris makes in here_ ,” Peter’s voice calls out through the door, and Chris’ wordless protest goes unnoticed as all four pairs of eyes turn to stare at Stiles and Derek. Derek pointedly avoids his mother’s knowing gaze, and Stiles’ eyes narrow.

“Yeah, we’re a thing, sorry we didn’t say anything, but you’re about to hear it anyway, _Peter_!” Stiles mutters out quickly, yelling the last part vindictively through Peter’s bedroom door as he drags a stunned and red-faced Derek off to his room for a face-off. An everything-off, really. Well, they’ll hear soon enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments/kudos much appreciated (:


End file.
